Heart Wrenching…

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Let me first start off by saying “Happy New Year” to all!!

Our new year got off to an ….. unexpected start.  My husband and I took Kate to a party at the home of one of her preschool friends.  20+ kids and we were definitely the oldest parents there.  But that’s another post for another time.

Avery stayed at home with her best friend and boyfriend, and they cooked and did face masks.  I know – this boy REALLY likes her!  Brooke was invited to go over to her close friend Lily’s house.  This friend was originally going to have a party, but it worked out that most of their friends were not able to come so it was just Brooke and her friend.

The “excitement” began when I picked her up around 12:30am.  She got in the car and started crying.  What!?  Wasn’t expecting that!

I finally got out of her that she was upset because another guy friend of theirs had a New Year’s party and that’s where all her other friends were – except Brooke and Lily.  It didn’t really make sense because they are all friends and hang out together often.  This was particularly hard for Brooke because she decided to leave all these friends and attend another high school this year because of its International Baccalaureate program.  But we still live in the same area with her friends and she sees them several times a week.  She misses this friend group tremendously!  They had a group of about 15-20 kids that  would do stuff together and due to this, Brooke was very social for the last few years.  Each weekend she had at least one event – sometimes 2 or 3.

It has not been so easy at her new school.  Being 15 is hard!  Teenage girls are not the easiest of groups to break into.  With that said, she hasn’t really found her group yet at the new school.  This has been frustrating and many tears have been shed.  She has just not made a strong connection yet (but hopefully there’s potential).  Brooke will say stuff about the new kids not really knowing who she is or much about her.  I think what she is trying to say is that she was important and popular with her old group of friends and now nobody cares.  That is SOOOO difficult for a teenage girl.

I try to tell her that she needs to work on building relationships and making new friends because she will have to do that in college.  Her comeback is that in college, everyone will have to be making new friends and will be more willing to try with others.  Unfortunately, I know she’s right.

They way Brooke and Lily found out about the party they were not invited to was – of course – social media.  Thanks Snapchat!!

So when I picked up Brooke, she began bawling and saying things like, “Why didn’t they invite me?  I miss my friends SOO much!  What’s wrong with me?!  Why don’t they want to be friends with me?  It hurts so much!  I don’t have any friends now – all my old friends have forgotten me and I don’t have any friends at my new school.  I don’t ever want to go back to school again.  Nobody cares if I do or not…..”

The crying went on until 2am.  The best I could do was to tell her that something like, “This eventually happens to everybody.  You can’t go through life and expect to be invited to every party.  It’s just part of life and will prepare you for the future….”  This did little to help because when you’re 15, your friends are EVERYTHING.

This is so hard to watch.  I know it’s a little dramatic.  No, it’s A LOT dramatic!  I know that the hurt of this will dull with time and that next week this will not be so bad.  But she doesn’t know that.  She hears me say that, but it doesn’t make the hurt that is immediate go away.

It’s also hard to watch Brooke hurt like this because I know there is really nothing I can do.  I stayed up with her and we slept on the couch together.  I just tried to listen and be there for her.

Today Brooke is my favorite.  It will get better sweet girl.  Hang in there!  Prayers and hugs for you!

Also, since it’s a new year, everyone goes back to zero with being my favorite or least favorite.  We will see what the future holds!

Daily tally:

Avery 0/0, Brooke +1/0, Kate 0/0

6 thoughts on “Heart Wrenching…

  1. Acccckk. I remember what a difficult and frustrating time that was for me. Brooke is very lucky to have a mom that is willing to lend such a supportive and caring ear. Thanks for sharing that story!

    It’s my first time here after discovering your blog at the link party over on Bern’s Bakes. I’m excited to read more. It sounds like you have a handful over there. Take care! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. All you can do is be there for her, and that’s exactly what you did. The IB will open amazing doors for her.
    Has Brooke considered going on exchange? Our daughter went to Belgium for a year when she was 16. It changed her life completely—for the good. She’s 32 now, speaks four languages and is learning Vietnamese to go on diplomatic posting there. Not bad for a kid who went to Belgium with 100 words of French, mostly numbers.


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