Just Say “NO” to Threading!!

Photo credit: http://www.phoenixeyebrows.com/

I had gotten kind of slack with the personal grooming and had not had my eyebrows professionally done in years.  (I had been plucking by own brows, so you know I wasn’t a complete Sasquatch.)  My oldest daughter had gone to the local mall with some of her friends and had their eyebrows threaded recently.  She said it didn’t hurt at all and it was only $12.  They looked great so I decided it was time to have my brows cleaned up by a professional.

Many years ago, I had my eyebrows threaded once.  I was working in the US Senate in Washington, D.C., (a whole other series of stories to tell) and there was a salon on site in one of the Senate buildings where you can make an appointment.  After hearing about the  eyebrow threading, I made an appointment to have my brows done at lunch one day.  I was in my early 20’s and had gotten my brows waxed only a handful of times, but never threaded.  I remember that it hurt some kind of bad and I never tried it again.

So after all those years and my daughter telling me how it didn’t hurt her at all, I decided to give threading another try.  After all, I have had 3 children by now and am sure my pain tolerance is nothing like the weakling I used to be.  I.  Was. WRONG.

Not just a little bit wrong, but VERY wrong.  I went to the salon alone (thankfully) and waited my turn.  After seeing a few people have their eyebrows threaded with no problems, I decided that not only would I have my eyebrows threaded, but I would have my upper lip done as well.  Sounded like a good idea……

The lady started on my brows and my eyes immediately began to water.  All I kept thinking was, “My daughter is a liar!  This hurts like CRAZY!”  As I lay in the chair, tears began running down my face.  Now I remember why I never went back after my first experience!  My daughter must have an incredible pain tolerance!  Oh yeah – she really does. (She had a collapsed lung 2 years ago and we only finally went to the doctor after 3 days because her neck was hurting – again, another post entirely to highlight my fantastic parenting skills.)

So, I got through the eyebrows and was thankful it was over.  Then I remembered I had asked for my upper lip to be done also.  I started the mental pep talk with things like, “You just did the brows.  You can get through this,” “It will be over really soon. My lip isn’t very hairy,” “There’s no way it will hurt like the brows.”

All these statements were FANTASTICALLY WRONG!  If I thought the eyebrows hurt, the upper lip hurts like 1,000 eyebrows!!!  The army should use threading as a form of torture to get prisoners to talk.  Wait – it would probably be ruled as too cruel to use.  As I laid in the chair, tears streamed down my face from the pain.  I had to ask the lady to stop at one point so I could get a tissue and wipe off my face and neck.  I can say with absolute certainty that I will NEVER, EVER, EVER have anything on my body threaded EVER AGAIN!!!

Some of you may be thinking I am a huge wimp – and maybe I am.  My eyes and face are like my Achilles heel.   The first time I ever went to the ophthalmologist, I wound up passed out on the floor (I’ll save that little story nugget for later.).  Keep in mind I have had 3 pregnancies and deliveries. : )

As I am sure you have guess by now, threading is my least favorite today : (  It gets a negative 4 today for all the pain it has caused me!

Daily tally:

Avery +1/-1, Brooke +3/0,  Kate +5/-2, Me +1/-2, My Husband +1/0, Threading +0/-4

14 thoughts on “Just Say “NO” to Threading!!

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