The Plague of the Bats – Part 1

  I HATE bats!!!  Really, REALLY HATE!  A few years ago, we had bats in our house – yes, FLYING in our house.  I came home on a Wednesday night and walked into my bedroom.  Immediately I noticed the the ceiling fan was on and we usually don’t leave it on while we are away.  I also noticed that something was flying around the fan.  I backed out into the hallway and quickly closed the door.  At first, I thought that this was a really big moth, or maybe a bird.  Then I peeked back into the bedroom and saw the creature was no longer flying.  After looking around a little bit, I spotted it on the plantation blinds.  That’s when I realized it was a BAT!  In my HOUSE!  As I peeked in, I saw the bat crawling up the blinds – they have these little “hooks” at the top of their wings that evidently allow them to crawl up blinds. (I am sure this evolved solely for this purpose.)  I was completely creeped out!  It still sends cold chills down my spine!

Its not that I completely hate bats.  I enjoy seeing them fly, high up in the air – far…….far…….away from me.  And I know that they are very useful in the ecosystem and eat insects, especially pesky mosquitos.  However, I don’t appreciate having them in my house!!!  If you are a bat lover, my apologies.  You may feel a bit differently if you had these angry little creatures flying around your house – what is supposed to be your haven of safety and relaxation from the world.

After seeing that this was indeed a bat, I called my husband and told him the situation and that he needed to get home PRONTO!  I also called my father, who lived about a block away and asked his advice about how to handle a bat flying in the house.  He immediately came over as well.

The next thing I know is that I am standing on my front lawn watching my husband and my father through the bedroom window since they had pulled up the blinds.  My usually intelligent, reasonable husband had a baseball bat in one hand and a hammer in the other.  I am watching in disbelief as he swings wildly with both hands (bat, hammer, hammer, bat) as the live bat flies around the room.  I think, “Is this really happening?  Where are the reality show cameras?”  Really?  Nope.  Its really my life.   : (   My father, on the other hand, is calmly watching this whole ordeal from inside the bedroom and assessing the situation.  He finally asks me for an old towel and captures the bat in the towel as it is flying.

If you have never seen a bat up close, here are few interesting facts: 1) They look like tiny, little, furry mice with huge wings,  2) They smell HORRIBLE!  3) They are super, super creepy!!  Disease, rabies!  If you are a big bat fan, skip on to the next paragraph NOW.  The bat, ironically, met its end that night at the hands of a baseball bat.  We later learned that bats are a protected species and we are not allowed to legally kill them.  I felt rule of the house owner trumped that law, and I am quite sure the statute of limitations for this is way past.

After my husband and father disposed of the bat that night, they started to look for where the bat may have come into the house.  The first place they looked was the attic and it was INFESTED with bats!  Literally, hundreds of bats hanging from the walls and ceiling of the attic!  The house is a Cape Cod style and has dormers with storage space connected to the attic.  The dormer doors to the storage places often bounce open briefly when there is a change in air pressure like when the AC/Heat goes on/off, or doors are slammed.  This had to be how the bat had gotten into the house.  Who knows how long we had been living with bats……….

Now armed with the knowledge that there were hundreds of bats in my house, there was NO WAY I was staying there for the night!  I told my husband that the girls and I were staying at my parent’s house for the night, and would be there  indefinitely until the bats were eradicated!  Then I ran into the house like a person trying to save their last mementos when the house is on fire.  I frantically ran around grabbing clothes, shoes, underwear for me and the girls for the next few days.  A little irrational, I know, but it all made perfect sense at the time.  My big, brave husband decided to bunk with the bats.

The next day was spent trying to figure out how to get rid of the bats.  After several calls to exterminators, animal control, etc, we discovered that bats cannot be killed, but have to be captured and released somewhere else.  This would cost around $3,000.  What!!??  We called a building contractor who found a spot in the roof where the bats were entering and exiting.  He said he could open it up wider for a day and then fix it so that any bats still trapped in the attic would not be able to get out and eventually die in the attic.  Doesn’t that sound lovely?  Decaying bat carcasses above where you and your children live.  Comforting……..

You may think this would be the end of the bat drama…. but no.  It’s not……….The Plague of the Bats – Part 2  coming soon!

My favorite today is my father, due to his cool head under pressure and problem-solving skills to capture the bat.

Daily tally:

Aubrie 1/-3          Bell 3/-1      Tate 5/-6        Jack 1/-1      Husband 1/-1     Father 1/0

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8 thoughts on “The Plague of the Bats – Part 1

  1. Well I totally have to go read part 2 of this story now. You had me laughing so hard my husband wondered what I was doing. ( Sorry to laugh at your expense) I am pretty sure I would shit my pants if I seen one bat in my house let alone hundreds in the attic. They wouldn’t need to capture those suckers because a for sale sign would have been up in the yard that night lol!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Glad you enjoyed! Made my day : ) We did sell that house but not until years later. I was always a bit uneasy in that house after that!

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    1. Love it! I wonder sometimes what does “sane” really mean?? I have some Wal-Mart and rabies stories to share too. Just haven’t gotten there : ) Thanks for commenting!!

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  2. Eagerly awaiting Part II 🙂 My grandparents had a farmhouse with many a bat so it wasn’t unheard of to find one flapping around in the bathroom sink at 2 in the morning. Very traumatic for an 8 yr old!

    Liked by 1 person

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