Moms Eat Gross Stuff….Well At Least I Do

   We took all 3 of our girls to a college football game today, plus one friend.  Yes 4 girls ranging in ages from 16 to 2.  Oddly, it wasn’t the disaster I had expected.  I guess I have resolved myself at this point to not actually watch or be a part of whatever event I go to now – and if I actually get to participate……Bonus!  I do much better now that I have taken on this point of view and have conceded that watching my child/children explore the event is really what its bout.

However, as I was at the game today I was reminded of something that I have done many times as a mother.  I assume other mothers around the world have done the same thing.  Well, at least I hope I’m not the only one!  Moms eat gross stuff.  Really, really gross stuff.

I was reminded of this because, our 2 year old, Tate, was eating peanuts with me at the game – the kind that come in a bag and you have to shell.  I had eaten about 10 and had given her around 7.  I thought she was eating her peanuts just like I was.  Then she held her head over the bag.  I thought she was just looking at all the peanuts – No.  She was spitting out all the chewed peanuts she had already put in her mouth.  Yuck!  This mush was now atop all the other peanuts.  There goes sharing my peanuts with others.  Suddenly, I did not have an appetite for peanuts.  Funny how seeing a food chewed and spit out will do that to you.

This little event today reminded me that I have eaten gross stuff like chewed peanuts many times along my motherhood adventure.  I have often found myself grocery shopping with the girls when they were babies/toddlers.  Let it be known that this is one of my least favorite parts of parenting – its like containing a wild baboon in a grocery cart while actually trying to accomplish a task.  Most times, I employ the use of some food to distract and occupy the child – usually goldfish crackers (like crack to children).  This strategy often does the trick.  However, there are times when the child will chew up the food and want to spit it back out.  I always hold out my hand rather than have them spit it out on the floor.  I don’t really know why.  Of course these are always the times when I have not brought the diaper bag into the store and/or I don’t have any tissues in my purse.  As I see it, I have three options: 1) disembarking from the grocery trip and walk with chewed food in my hand until I find a bathroom/trashcan and thus derailing my grocery trip, 2) continue on my shopping journey with chewed food in one hand and waiting til I get to the register to throw it away, or 3) quickly eating the chewed food and try not to think about what I am doing.   Due to my enduring disdain for grocery shopping, I usually opt for #3 and eat the grossness.  Maybe its laziness for not wanting to walk to a bathroom and prolong my trip.  Maybe its because I just want to get out of the store before I lose my mind.  Whatever it is, I just put chewed food in my mouth and swallow as quickly as I can.

Also, I have to make these decisions at lightening speed.  Time does slow down a bit the first few times I weighed my options.  Now, I don’t even think about it.  I don’t want other people to see me do this.  I just act like my child has sweetly shared their snack with me and casually eat my new-found treat.

I can’t be the only one.  Please tell me other moms are doing this??  Surely other moms are picking up dropped pacifiers in Wal-Mart and stealthy licking them off to give to a screaming back to quiet down. (I know.  Its like I just licked the floor in Wal-Mart!)  Just me?  Anybody else ……..?

For putting me in this position of opting for eating gross, pre-chewed food over the years, all three girls are my least favorite today.

Daily tally:

Aubrie 1/-3          Bell 3/-1      Tate 3/-5        Jack 1/-1      Husband 0/-1

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